What I wish I had knownMany of you have heard and read about my menopause journey, so I thought I’d give an update on where I am now.

My early memories of the menopause, before it affected me, was laughing with a well-known client who was near to stripping her top off to cool down. We genuinely thought she was bonkers and put it down to part of her eccentricity.

Fast forward 15 years and guess who would’ve been laughing. To say I am mortified by my behaviour back then is an understatement.

Fortunately, awareness of the menopause is now so much better, people talk about it, are trying to find solutions, and hopefully the laughing at people or the raised eyebrows behind the menopausal woman’s back are becoming things of the past.

Our workplace had absolutely no support system in place as it just hadn’t been thought about. As roughly 50% of the population go through this stage in life, and it is a normal part of ageing, it was like all other things hormonal and reproductive, people got on with it.

Many go through this stage with few or mild symptoms and probably wonder what all the fuss is about. That must be so good. The rest of us aren’t quite so fortunate. Sadly, there is no magic wand or easy fix as each person has individual needs.

So, what should a good workplace policy have in it? The first thing in my opinion, is a culture of openness and acceptance. If someone is feeling physically or mentally drained or unwell, be it menopause or a myriad of other things, people in the workplace should be supportive as one day it may be your turn to need help.

Having access to cooling fans, fresh air and somewhere to freshen up are the easy wins. Harder to enable in a busy workplace is back up if a break is suddenly needed, but a well-trained front staff can communicate sensitively to waiting clients.

Brain fog, anxiety and memory loss are harder for the workplace to accommodate specifically, but just an understanding that these things happen is such a big step forward. Asking if any help is needed, not just once and definitely in an empathetic way can also help as can signposting to relevant sources of help and information. Remember the person affected may not realise what they are going through is due to the menopause so sensitivity is essential as well as the possibility that they may not be menopausal at all.

I have been asked what did work well for me. A very patient spouse for sure. Learning about layering of clothes with tops that are easy to put on and off. Carrying a battery powered fan with me. Learning acceptance that it will pass and I was not alone. LISTS! Lots of lists!

What didn’t work well for me was the gimmicks. Funnily enough, the purple magnet that went onto the front of your knickers, EVEN if Boots sold it, DOES NOT WORK! But I tried everything.

What I wish I had done was take my doctors advice and start on HRT when I first started this journey. I’m not sure why I didn’t, except the fear of increased risk of cancer and I don’t like taking anything I don’t have to. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. If your doctor is dismissive of the menopause, ask to see one who has an interest in it.

I remember hearing some horror stories of how many years this was going to take. Even 2 years seemed like forever at that point. But time has a habit of just getting on with it and now I am ten years on. I still get some symptoms but not like they were.

A significant moment happened at last year’s London Vet Show. I went to the lecture on the menopause and managed to keep my jacket on for the whole time. That is a big win!

Author: Melissa Donald, Vet and Royal College of Veterinary Surgeons Senior Vice President